Do You Know Who Your Real Friends Are?

I know it seems like a strange question, but it really isn't.  I live by the philosophy that "a friend is a gift you give yourself".  It has served me well.


I know a lot of people worldwide, many through business.  I have many acquaintances, some I hang out with and some I don't. 


However, I have very few friends.  And this is by choice.  Other than family (I am very blessed to be so close to my siblings), I can count on one hand the number of people I consider my real friends.  These are people I trust with my life.  These are people I love like family.  These people I can say anything to and I know what I say will be kept in confidence.  I don't have to tip toe around sensitive issues with them.  I can speak my mind openly and honestly and they can do the same with me.  They love me for who I am, not for what I can do for them. 

Let me say it again in case you missed it.  My friends love me for who I am, not for what I can do for them.  And the feeling is mutual! 


I am friendly with a lot of people, but being friendly and being a true friend are totally different animals in my opinion.  I am friendly with acquaintances, but that does not make them part of my inner circle.  That just makes me nice.  That doesn't mean I gossip with them.  That doesn't mean I tell tales out of school.  That simply means I am nice to people.  We talk about family and life and whatever else comes to mind, but we don't talk about other people.  If someone wants to know about someone else, I suggest that they talk to that person directly.  It is not my place to be talking to someone about someone else.  If more people would embrace and follow this simple concept, the world might be a happier place.  Just a thought. 

Dealing With Death . . . . Or Not

I have been thinking a lot about my little sister lately.  I still haven't wrapped my head around her death even though she has been gone almost 3 months. 

While I have no regrets (other than her death at such a young age), I think these days I am feeling my own mortality.  Other than a few straggling cousins and a useless nephew, there are only 3 of us left . . . . me, my older sister and my younger brother.  We spend a lot of time together and drink way too much most of the time.  Hell, when I am referred to as the sober one, you know it's a problem.  However, feeling numb eases pain and to some degree, I think all of us are trying to maintain the numb feeling over over its alternatives . . . . pain, loss, utter devestation. 

What I have noticed since her death is that I am more direct than my normal self.  Life is too damn short not to get your point across as directly and clearly as possible.   Words are meant to be spoken.  Mindreading is not the norm for most.  While I don't take most things too seriously, I abhor stupidity of any kind.  I don't have patience for it, not that I ever really did, but I used to be "nicer" about it.  Now . . . . not so much. 

But I also believe being so direct it allows me to say "I love you" more often as I need to express words since I never know what God has in store for me, my siblings or my loved ones.  He has proven way too many times in my life that when he calls, we get no choice. 

So, am I dealing with her death?  Maybe.  Is it in an entirely different method that with my parents, grandparents and family friends?  Absolutely.  

And with that, I will leave you with one of my current favorite songs.  It speaks to me.

Maybe I Should Write Something

Well hell!  Other than proposals, emails, rate quotes, and court filings, I haven't written anything anywhere in the better part of forever.  Hell, I barely even read what others write these days. 

My life these days is filled with work and family.  I haven't even managed to make pool time happen.  Oh well.  Life gets in the way sometimes. 

At least I'll be going to see Come Fly Away at The Fox in a few weeks.  Now THAT should be an absolute blast!

Maybe I'll come up with something more prolific tomorrow. 

I Believe . . . . .

I believe . . . .

That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe . . . .

That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe . . . .

That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, it doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe . . . .

That you should always leave loved ones with loving workds.  It may be the last time you see them.

I believe . . . . .

That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe . . . . . .

That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe . . . . .

That sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe . . . .

That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.  Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe . . . . .

That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe . . . . . .

That the people you care about most in life are taken from you much too soon.

I believe . . . . .

That life is more precious that money will ever be able to be.

Mother Nature Unleashes Her Wrath

Watching the news this morning, it occurred to me how much we joke about Mother Nature never realizing how deadly she can be.  Japan is one of my most favorite countries to visit.  I love the culture and the people and the hustle and bustle of Tokyo.  Seeing the devastation this morning broke my heart.  All those lives lost, all that damage, all because Mother Nature decided to reign down on Japan for no other reason than she was there.  Tsunamis are dangerous animals, this one was more deadly than most.

The United States fared much better thank God!

But my heart goes out to all those that lost loved ones and their entire lives in the blink of an eye.

New York City, Here I Come!!!

I finally booked my April trip to NYC and I am totally psyched.  Not only do I get my hot dog (knowing me, I’ll definitely have more than one) in Central Park, but I get to see Smarty’s girls again and hopefully meet Bubbles’ daughter.  M is coming down for the party and we have a pretzel date all lined up.  I see copious amount of alcohol being consumed while I am there as well as much wandering around the city while looking up at tall buildings like any self respecting tourist would do.  Oh, and Bubbles and Mr. Smarty are running a race Sunday morning so I will get to cheer them on before I return home. 

The Chopped Champion's Champion

Madison won!!!  And I couldn't be more thrilled.  Anyone who knows me knows I love Food Network and "Chopped" is one of my favorite shows.  But today was special because they had the $50,000.00 championship cook off between 16 winners.  It was brutal.

I adored Madison when he won the first time.  He has been homeless on two continents, is Jamaican by birth, married to a Danish woman, and his daughter is the light of his life.  He is humble and exudes sincerity and honesty.

When he won, they brought out his daughter and I watched him hug her and tear up.  Hell, I teared up as did Alex Guarnaschelli.  I was in very good company.

But what I loved the most was his parting line.  "I showed my daughter today that it's not what you say, but what you do."