I know it seems like a strange question, but it really isn't. I live by the philosophy that "a friend is a gift you give yourself". It has served me well.
I know a lot of people worldwide, many through business. I have many acquaintances, some I hang out with and some I don't.
However, I have very few friends. And this is by choice. Other than family (I am very blessed to be so close to my siblings), I can count on one hand the number of people I consider my real friends. These are people I trust with my life. These are people I love like family. These people I can say anything to and I know what I say will be kept in confidence. I don't have to tip toe around sensitive issues with them. I can speak my mind openly and honestly and they can do the same with me. They love me for who I am, not for what I can do for them.
Let me say it again in case you missed it. My friends love me for who I am, not for what I can do for them. And the feeling is mutual!
I am friendly with a lot of people, but being friendly and being a true friend are totally different animals in my opinion. I am friendly with acquaintances, but that does not make them part of my inner circle. That just makes me nice. That doesn't mean I gossip with them. That doesn't mean I tell tales out of school. That simply means I am nice to people. We talk about family and life and whatever else comes to mind, but we don't talk about other people. If someone wants to know about someone else, I suggest that they talk to that person directly. It is not my place to be talking to someone about someone else. If more people would embrace and follow this simple concept, the world might be a happier place. Just a thought.
I have a lot of friends and I'm friendly with a lot of people. But I only have a few close friends and I trust them with everything.
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing that is also the hardest part for me: Once someone is in on that level, it is hard for me to stop being their friend, so maybe they are more like my family because I often can't get rid of them, either. :)
What gossip? Tell me. I have to know so that I can tell others you told me.
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. There is nothing wrong with having only a few people that you really trust. I am that way as well, so of course I agree.
Speaking of gossip though, I just talked to a girlfriend the other day; the one that is the major secret teller/keeper friend. I realized that I actually am into gossip for the knowledge - I just like knowing what goes on because I am nosey. I am not into spreading it. Which most people know about me, so they tell me everything.
Hope you are well! I've been out of the loop as of late.
I have one friend.
ReplyDeleteThat seems a strange thing to admit, because I think of myself as someone with plenty of friends. I certainly have plenty that I CALL friends. Perhaps I use the word too lightly, I dunno. I'm an open person by nature, at least to a point, so I live a life largely without secrets. I do, however, have several things from the Weird Shit section of my life, that I choose to talk about rarely if ever. Because I know instinctively that most people, no matter how much they love me, can't understand. Or maybe can't accept. If I talk about them in anything other than the most vague terms, doubts will creep in. Is she lying? Is she mad? Is she telling a truth that's beyond my realm of experience, making her an unknown quantity? And frankly, I love my friends - my second-level friends - too much to put them through that.
So I have one friend. My Tommy Jay, to whom I could say that I've been abducted by aliens, or had a divine visitation, or travelled through time, and he will believe me. Why? Because I say it is so.
Complete honesty. It's not an easy thing for me, and that difficulty is what makes our relationship so valuable, even sacred, to me.
Perhaps even as sacred as he and I are profane. =))